Don’t know what really makes you happy, makes your heart beat faster? Ask yourself: If you had no obligations in life, what would you do?
As long as I can remember, I’ve been writing. When I was a child I always carried around a little notebook and a pen to write down a new part of my story or to draw something related to the story I was working on. At a certain point I got stuck. Reality was getting in the way of my writing. Literally, because I was starting high school and had little time left to write after going to school all day, doing homework and that kind of stuff. Figuratively, because I couldn’t break free from the real world anymore. The rules my parents gave me also became the rules my characters had to obey. My obligations in life became the obligations my characters had to stick to. The magic was gone, I got trapped in reality.
Years went by and I caught myself thinking about writing every once in a while, but never did anything with it. Even though I enjoyed writing papers and kept a journal, writing a story just seemed like something I used to do in another life. What was holding me back? I’m pretty sure I was afraid to fail, to suck at writing, and to quit. And instead of facing my fears, I went ostrich-style on them and put my head in the sand.
At some point I came across something called ‘Nanowrimo’. It stands for ‘National novel writing month’. It’s a novel-writing event which takes place in November of each year (check out the website for more information: www.nanowrimo.org). I’ve signed up in 2009. I was too scared and didn’t wrote a word. I’ve signed up again in 2010 and once again got scared. 2011, third time’s the charm they say. Well, not for me, I chickened out again.
This year (I believe they started it last year as well) Nanowrimo has something called “Camp Nanowrimo”. It’s has the same principles as the one they hold in November, only Camp Nanowrimo takes place in June and August.
Because I started this whole blog to tell you all about how I want to get a more fulfilling life by owning less, I came to realize it’s not only about owning less. It’s also about breaking habits that have been there for years. I want to be happy with my life not because of the amount of stuff I own, but because of what’s giving my life meaning. Getting rid of stuff I don’t need and is taking up unnecessary space in my house and in my head is one way. Doing the things I really like is another way.
Writing is something I’ve always liked, but when my childhood came to an end, so did my imagination, and it felt like I lost a part of myself. And I think it’s time to reclaim my imagination. I’ve let the world steal it from me, it was my own fault, but there’s no use in keep beating myself up over it. So next month I will take part in the June-edition of Camp Nanowrimo. Maybe I’ll finish, maybe not, but at least I will try. All I have to remember is that I write for myself, not to get published, but just for my own happiness. And that should be enough.